The Warhammer Of Suzumiya Haruhi
by Rogue Vector
Summary: Another Challenger Appears! The Tabletop Wargaming Club has challenged the SOS Brigade to a game of wits, valor, rulers and... dice. Warhammer 40,000, to be precise.


_**This is a story idea that I'm pitching: Suzumiya Haruhi plays a game of Warhammer 40,000. If you are interested in me continuing this, or taking the idea for yourself, then please send me a review! **_

_**More reviews = more interest, therefore faster updates to this fic.**_

_**Don't worry, I won't abandon ToyHammer, but this is an idea that I've been sitting on for a while, so I'm interested in seeing what my dear readers think of it.**_

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As per usual with the bewildering events that often followed the trail of Miss Suzumiya Haruhi like the many women left behind by one Giacomo Cassanova while on his Grand Tour, the day that set our small group of abnormal highschool students into another weird and perhaps traumatizing experience began in an almost despairingly normal fashion.

The bell rang at the exact same time; twenty four hours since it played out that set of notes to begin school.

Students in their green blazers and dark brown cardigans squeezed through the main gates, and I was reminded of a beehive as we all streamed into our respective classes.

Exactly six and a half hours later, the final bell rang, releasing us from our educational bondage.

The entire school re-shuffled as we all headed to our club rooms.

Nagato picked up her book, Miss Asahina began brewing the tea, and Koizumi and I took our seats to begin playing a new game.

Haruhi was nowhere to be found.

We finished laying out the game.

Behind us, there came the sound of trickling brew.

"Here's your tea~!"

Miss Asahina's sweet voice was accompanied by the inferior sound of the pale green ceramic tea-cup being delicately placed on the table in front of the stoic bookworm.

There was an almost imperceptible nod of thanks from the purple haired girl.

"Hmm... I seem to understand the rules, now."

There was a rustle of paper as Miss Nagato Yuki, alien gynoid, turned another page. I shrugged as we both stared at the 'Trivial Pursuit' board.

"Shall we begin?"

Ever smiling in his facade, as unchanging as Nagato's poker-face, Koizumi reached out for the dice.

The door to the Literature Club (now SOS-Brigade Headquarters) was kicked inwards, smacking into a chair that had been put inside of its arc-of-movement.

"Ya-hoo~!"

Haruhi, what is it with you and that weird greeting?

"Never mind about that, everybody, listen up!"

Looking up from the game we had been about to begin, I was surprised (should I really be?) to see that Haruhi was trailing a young bespectacled boy. He was no doubt a senior, at the very least a second year, and there was even less doubt that he was traumatized from being pushed around by a young first-year underclass(wo)man.

"The Wargaming club has challenged us, the _glorious _SOS Brigade," Haruhi proclaimed, stabbing the air with her pointer finger. "to a game of..."

The Chief of the Saving the World by Overloading It With Fun Haruhi Suzumiya Brigade faltered. She turned to the stricken young lad who had been unfortunate enough to be dragged into this mess.

"Uh, what's the game called again?"

The unfortunate soul looked up. "W-warhammer. Warhammer 40,000."

Silence.

"What's that again?"

I sighed, and tossed my playing piece (a circular cradle for scoring wedges) back into the box, then hung my head in exasperation.

Not again.

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Haruhi was grinning as today's meeting of the SOS Brigade ended.

"Like before, if anyone is to admit defeat, then they will be punished! You will run around the school perimeter! _NAKED_! And while you're doing that, you'll have to scream out 'Green Martians are chasing me' the whole way!"

A box of gear was brought up.

"So, we've borrowed some rulebooks. Kyon, you read them tonight, then show us how to play tomorrow! Everyone must be able to challenge the Wargamers' club when we fight next week, and prove victorious for the glory of the SOS Brigade!"

A heavy, door-stopping tome was dropped in front of me. The first thing I noticed were the words printed on the front, near the bottom; a motto. It read...

_In the grim darkness of the future, there is only war..._

And, so, to the horror of both clubs (minus our club leader), the ill-considered conquest of the Tabletop Games Club began.

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[cue opening theme song, _'ere we go, 'ere we go _by Da' Orkz.]


End file.
